Dealing with an extremely controlling older sibling can be difficult, but here are several ways that may help you escape from their control:

  1. Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with your older sibling about what you will and will not tolerate from them. Communicate your boundaries assertively but respectfully, and be consistent in enforcing them.

  2. Seek Support: Reach out to trusted family members, friends, or even a therapist to talk about your situation and get emotional support. Sometimes having someone to talk to can make all the difference.

  3. Be Independent: Try to become more independent and self-sufficient so that you are less reliant on your older sibling. This may include learning new skills, such as cooking or budgeting, or finding ways to earn your own money.

  4. Avoid Triggers: Identify the situations or topics that tend to trigger your older sibling's controlling behavior, and try to avoid them whenever possible. For example, if they always try to control what you wear, try to dress in a way that they are less likely to comment on.

  5. Seek Mediation: Consider enlisting the help of a neutral third party, such as a family therapist or mediator, to help you and your older sibling work through your issues and come to a more positive relationship.

  6. Limit Contact: If all else fails, you may need to limit your contact with your older sibling to protect your mental and emotional health. This may involve taking a break from the relationship or setting firm boundaries about when and how you interact with them.

Remember that it is important to prioritize your own well-being in any situation. If your older sibling's controlling behavior is causing you significant distress or harm, it may be necessary to take action to protect yourself.